On Pointlessness and the Zodiac
Whatever I’m typing at this very moment may or may not be read by anyone. Then, why do I type? Hermes??
Anyway, I have realized that I’m obsessed with my horoscope.
Without giving anything away, I must say that I’m the epitome of my natal chart (with the solar and lunar and ascendant and whatnot).
It’s scarily accurate.
But I’ve moved on to another topic in my raving.
I’ve also realized that train of thought essays are quite irritating, but only for the reader.
Why is it that we take personality quizzes?
I think they’re fun.
But I know my personality. Which means, if I get an answer I don’t like or think matches me I won’t really appreciate it.
This just means I know how I want to be percieved, and choose my answers accordingly.
Does this make me calculating? (Not that I mind).
But why do we even need someone else to tell us about ourselves? We know exactly who we are, even if we don’t want to. We know what we have done, how we have thought, what we believed, what we do believe, how we think at this moment.
Don’t we know who we are?
Obviously not. Not if we’re taking silly quizzes on our personality.
Maybe it’s because we want more to us than “just us”. Because we percieve something in us is higher. We want more to us than us.
Does this even make sense?
Yes, in a sense. We take these quizzes and look at our horoscopes and talk about ourselves and learn about us. But we don’t know our essence. We don’t know who we are.
We know how we are percieved, how we wish to be percieved, we know how we act, what we think, what our beliefs are. But we do not know us.
Of course we don’t. Because in the end,
we are
Add comment August 14, 2007 logiosathena
The History of Athena-Language
No. Not the goddess’. Mine.
Indeed, lotsa people know about the way I speak as I have spoken to them oddly enough. But here is a rough guide to my language as people sometimes have a hard time understanding. Some people just think I add “ies” to everything I say. I do not. (more…)
Add comment July 3, 2007 logiosathena
Picture this
I’m in a dojo. Of martial arts.
I have to key-aye. Meaning I have to yell. I’ve taken a course called prepare at school in which I have to yell too. This makes the action stronger and more surprising and jazz.
I can’t. Prepare had a valid reason. “No” as it don’t try to touch me you weirdo assaulter.
I don’t like loud noises. I don’t like yelling. I’m a silent supporter.
So I tried.
Everyone else went “Agh!” “Hah!” and whatnot, basic aggressive grunts.
I went, “Nya!”
I swear to god the guy in front of me cracked up.
This is also what I do when playing tennis. Some tennis players “grunt their way through a match”.
“Unnrgh” “Grr.” “uhh.”
Pas moi.
What do I do? Ask my court buddies. During a game this is what you hear from my side of the court:
“Nya!” “Moo!” “Gah!” “Nuu!” “Eep!” “Meep!”
This is sooooooo embarrasing. And yet, I’m not going to try to stop. This is my thing. No one will stop me. Ever.
Add comment July 3, 2007 logiosathena
Owwies
Owwies is right. First I scrape both elbows dragging myself around a dojo to build strength (which I DO NOT HAVE).
Then I bruise my knee, fall up the stairs (as usual), land a flight ahead of my wanted destination (thankfully no one saw that), run my toe against different things so many times until it bleeds, lean against a hot iron and then run into the door. Repeatedly.
This is obviously not my week.
Add comment June 26, 2007 logiosathena
Off on another one…
Take a step back please. I’m here to write about my attic.
EGAD THERE ARE THINGS LIVING IN MY HOUSE AND I’M TERRIFIED. I wake up at night to squeaking from the roof. Now, it isn’t safe to go into my attic and I’m not starting now, but I think that there are squirrels up there. And what if they’re the same drunked squirrels that bounced off my windows? Egad, there are drunken squirrels in my attic! What if they claw their way through the ceiling. I’m scared, I’m so scared and I’m hearing the noises again and I’m scared. Do you think they’ll go away?
What if they’re all in my head? I don’t want them in my head? Oh my god they’re in my head. I’m going to go insane if they’re in my head. Wait, I’m already insane.
Phew! That’s a relief.
But the noises are seriously coming from my ceiling. And they’re getting louder….Bloody hell they’re coming from behind my bookcase…oh no they’re not. But it’s so weird. The scraping and the squeaking..I’m beginnning to wonder if they’re squirrels at all.
THE GRUDGE IS IN MY ATTIC!!
Ok. Not scared. Nope, Not scared at all. A BUTTERFLY!!!! I’m terrified. More than anything. It fluttered. Away. Thank you heaven.
Add comment June 13, 2007 logiosathena
The View Outside My Window
The flowers are blooming in red flower-buds in the tree outside my window. I’m wonderfully happy that I can see this from my desk, but there are also certain other things I have seen that must be recorded.
I cannot make this up.
I’m doing my math homework and playing on the computer at the same time, a habit formed in my youth when I hear a dull “thwack” outside my window. Glancing up, I see nothing. As all humans, I too have been endowed with peripheral vision, albeit 40/50. And therefore I do remember seeing a gray blob whiz past my window while bumping against it. But because I’m busy not caring, I shrug and go back to “work”.
It happens again, and this time I hear a slight squeak accompanying the dull noise, and think I see a fluffy tail. At this point I’m intrigued. Maybe, I think, one of my strange friends has gotten it into his/her head to throw rocks against my window until it gets my attention/until it breaks. But looking out, no one is there. I sit down once more and give a good glance at my window when it happens a third time. I distinctly remember seeing a squirrel outside my window. Complete with bushy tail and panicky eyes, the squirrel, in fetal position (or I think it is a squirrelly version of it) bounces (thwack) against my window then off onto the ground. Giving a glance outside I see three squirrels twitching.
I’m slightly worried. If squirrels can get head trauma this explains why the ones outside my house act so nuts, if you will. But I wonder whether somehow they find pleasure in this—rather masochistic, if I do say so myself—act. Because it’s become rather frequent as of late.
I’m also afraid that a butterfly will come in so I’m forever on the lookout, though I let my guard down at night, which isn’t good. My neighbor’s completely-black cat, with it’s creepy-so-green-it-glows-in-the-dark eyes, decides to perch about and stare at me through my window at around that time just so I can get really terrified.
Add comment April 28, 2007 logiosathena
Spring is coming…
…and with the spring comes the one thing I truly fear more than all others.
All my life I’ve been terrified of butterflies. I have no particular reason why. I understand they cannot do a thing (I have read up on them you know…a butterfly has no way with which to harm other creatures…it drinks nectar for crying out loud) and yet I am still terrified.
I suppose it’s a phobia. In fact I’m sure it is one, merely because it is an irrational fear. I know it is nothing to fear, in fact it makes no sense to fear it since it is just a butterfly. But I also know for sure that if a butterfly fluttered towards me I will scream and hide behind the closest thing/human being no matter what/who it is. Yes, I also know I’m pathetic.
I don’t know how I survived the first two times I went into the Butterfly Observatory at the Museum of Natural History. But I do know this, the third time (last year) I could not get myself past the door of another observatory somewhere in Canada. I took one step and they were everywhere, I cowered in the corner until someone finally allowed me to leave through the wrong door. I cannot and I will not ever do that again. I might die of fright.
This may be a good time to list my fears*:
5. Not making it into college – I honestly am not sure I’m really afraid of that…
4. Flunking a class. (I’ve gotten to use flunking in a sentence!)
3. Roller coasters – How can something so rickety hold you?
2. Horror Movies
1. Butterflies
Note, dear reader, how my first and greatest fear is of butterflies. Butterflies terrify me. Just like pennies terrify Kohaku-chan. And therefore I do not entirely look forward to spring, I cannot, knowing what it entails for me. My destruction. Mommy! Don’t make me doooooooo this! I don’t waaaannnnaaa go outside when there are flowers out there! They’ll come and land on meeeeeeee!
This is my reaction…and it isn’t even spring yet. I will pray for a few more days of butterfly-less winter and steel myself for the horrors to come.
_______________________________________________
*I have of course left out the typical fear of not doing my best or working hard enough and hurting others out of my list merely because that is a fear I suppose many might have and not strange enough to enter my list. Ah! Going blind is another fear of mine, since I’m already halfway there.
Add comment March 2, 2007 logiosathena
Ahhh, sadness…
Harry Potter is almost over and as I wait anxiously for the next copy I realize I may have nothing else to live for after this point.
I mean, it’s been two years! I’ve waited two years for this! This is greater than anything else I have and maybe even will achieve! (Honestly I hope ’tis not so. ‘Tis is a funny contraction.) Nuuuuu. I know exactly what will happen, for I will read the book in one night, forgeting to eat, sleep or breathe, and then the next day I will have nothing to do but tell other people (not on purpose) the ending. They beat me up last time I said Dumbledore died. I mean, I was upset too. I spent the next two minutes crying (which wasn’t good since I was in a store and people were looking at me funny–one guy came up to me to ask what’s wrong and I sobbed, “Dumbledore died!” He gasped and looked at me like I had dashed all his dreams and went away depressed…Others nearby yelled at me for giving away the ending) and I was even in a depressed funk for about two weeks. Dumbledore is gone! It’s still painful, but not so bad.
I bet Harry’ll die though. Not that I care. I mean, I like Harry, he’s an okay dude. But, I mean come on! Compared to Dumbledore, I would rather have Harry die. No offense to those readers that are obsessed and worship Harry. I do too. But if he dies it won’t affect me as much.
Ah well, there goes the life I once had. I must find a new series to fixate hopes and dreams on! Hello Artemis Fowl!
1 comment February 23, 2007 logiosathena
Rant, A how-to.
I have seen and heard of “rants” in the media, various books even magazines.
But, not one of these rants truly are rants.
In fact to truly rant, one must have years of practice.
First, let me speak of emotions. Emotions are the core of the rant, and while the subject may vary and the train of thought may continue from one to another the emotion sets the tone and stays the same. Unless of course, it too changes. But that occurs rarely and when it does so, it is barely noticable as the change is either slight, or so slow and gradual the one who listens to the ranter (the rantee, perhaps) cannot notice until the end, perhaps some time after the rant is cut off.
Note, dear Reader, that I did not say “rant is finished” in the above sentence. I did not say it merely because a rant never finishes. One gets interrupted but the thoughts never cease (unless of course you were interrupted by death) and the inner turmoil continues.
Where was I? Emotions. Yes, but first I shall allude to my previous transition. A rant goes on and on until someone checks him or herself and goes back to the topic that started it all. In this way a rant has an infinite amount of topics that starts with one thing and might as well end with thousands of others.
But we were speaking of emotions. The usual emotion is annoyance, frustration, perhaps even anger. These can sometimes be called tirades. But I have never heard a depressing rant. Usually the annoyance fades away into acceptance and the rant itself also trails of into nothingness. Acknowledgement of oneself and others can do very bad things indeed.
Let us move on to the next component of a rant.
One has to at all times, rant until they are no more, for ranting brings into the mind a great sensation of transcendence. That is all.
When one rants for so long that the starting topic has been forgotten, the purpose has been achieved. For instance when I rant about ranting and how others cannot rant, and you know how annoying it is when people just complain and then say, “oh sorry, I just like ranting” but they don’t know that there’s a big difference and they’re so annoying, not just because of that but also because they like to complain, but I like to complain, and I suppose I’m complaining now but it isn’t the same as ranting because I can rant without whining or complaining, though they might be seen to ignorant people as the same kind of thing, and speaking of which did you hear–?
The above, my dear Reader, was a true rant. See how it is all one sentence. It is truly effective however when one is able to speak multiple languages. This way one can transition from one language to the next and fade back into the first one (preferably the first one is the one spoken by your listener). This way you can end your rant with, “Isn’t that right?” and have achieved another purpose of ranting.
Purpose
The purpose of the rant is unclear to many, but there are a few wise and learned ones who do know.
Ranting is used mainly to annoy, confuse, anger or create general mayhem and or distraction.
Ranting also brings about enlightenment. Or more annoyance. Whichever.
I like to rant, and that for me, says everything.
Dear reader, I told you about ranting because I like to rant and I hope you recognize them. I also, wish you the best of luck in your own ranting ventures. And now I want to rant.
I cannot stand people who do not know how to rant so I create a guide that no one will read, but why am I doing it if I know it won’t be used as a guide at all–not like that is necessary either I just need to vent but I can do that when I rant and I think I should go now before the people with the white coats come now because they always come around now and they take me away in a van to the place and why do they have to do that all the time anyway–I just want to rant, it’s not like I’m going to attack someone in my stupor or anything or do stuff like find someone that I know and talk to them until their ears bleed and maybe that’s why they stay away from me but I think it’s just because they’re weird and those people are here now, I wonder why they’re late and they’ve got something shiny with them…
Woooooooo. Everything is wooooooooo.
Add comment February 23, 2007 logiosathena
Copernicus
…is a big meanie!!! He is!! He totally is! I mean, okay he wrote De revolutionibus orbium coelestium (On the revolutions of heavenly spheres) and finally got through to the world that the earth was not the center of the universe. I mean, humans are self-centered and naturally thought everything revolved around them. Because they’re oh-so-special, and oh-so-wonderful! Have we, as a whole species–not just a few of the intelligent ones…and there aren’t many of those around anymore nowadays, ever thought that we weren’t the greatest, most powerful, most intelligent beings out there? I respect Copernicus for his ability to give us a good shake back to perspective. But he’s still a big meanie! Though everyone thinks his discovery was a landmark, it really wasn’t. Nicolaus was not the first to have that bright idea. …I have just disproven myself. I’m okay with it. Copernicus I suppose is free to know that he is respected by great wonderful people. Like Goethe, Nietzsche (that guy has a huuuuuge moustache) and now me!
Add comment February 21, 2007 logiosathena
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