…and with the spring comes the one thing I truly fear more than all others.

All my life I’ve been terrified of butterflies. I have no particular reason why. I understand they cannot do a thing (I have read up on them you know…a butterfly has no way with which to harm other creatures…it drinks nectar for crying out loud) and yet I am still terrified.

I suppose it’s a phobia. In fact I’m sure it is one, merely because it is an irrational fear. I know it is nothing to fear, in fact it makes no sense to fear it since it is just a butterfly. But I also know for sure that if a butterfly fluttered towards me I will scream and hide behind the closest thing/human being no matter what/who it is. Yes, I also know I’m pathetic.

I don’t know how I survived the first two times I went into the Butterfly Observatory at the Museum of Natural History. But I do know this, the third time (last year) I could not get myself past the door of another observatory somewhere in Canada. I took one step and they were everywhere, I cowered in the corner until someone finally allowed me to leave through the wrong door. I cannot and I will not ever do that again.  I might die of fright.

This may be a good time to list my fears*:

5. Not making it into college – I honestly am not sure I’m really afraid of that… 

4. Flunking a class. (I’ve gotten to use flunking in a sentence!)

3. Roller coasters – How can something so rickety hold you?

2. Horror Movies

1. Butterflies

Note, dear reader, how my first and greatest fear is of butterflies. Butterflies terrify me. Just like pennies terrify Kohaku-chan. And therefore I do not entirely look forward to spring, I cannot, knowing what it entails for me. My destruction. Mommy! Don’t make me doooooooo this! I don’t waaaannnnaaa go outside when there are flowers out there! They’ll come and land on meeeeeeee!

This is my reaction…and it isn’t even spring yet. I will pray for a few more days of butterfly-less winter and steel myself for the horrors to come.

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*I have of course left out the typical fear of not doing my best or working hard enough and hurting others out of my list merely because that is a fear I suppose many might have and not strange enough to enter my list. Ah! Going blind is another fear of mine, since I’m already halfway there.